Breaking
by Koohii Cafe
Summary: A collection of moments from a world where Stars does not end... quite as joyously.
1. Crying

**Title:** Breaking

**Author:** Koohii Cafe

**Rating:** K

**Fandom:** BSSM

**Disclaimer:** Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Summary:** A collection of moments from a world where Stars does not end... quite as joyously.

**Author's notes:** I'm writing these pieces out as they come, and they may or may not be in chronological order. Please forgive if a piece is somewhat vague, it will all begin to make sense as I write more and more.

_Crying  
_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Her lips trembled despite her best efforts, and her nails dug deep into her palms as her fists tightened. She wouldn't- she _couldn't_- let it escape, and silken blonde locks were sent flying as her head shook in refusal, eyes squeezed shut with all her might. If she did, it would never stop; if she did, it would mean that it was true.

She didn't want to see the looks on their faces, to see the sympathy, compassion, _the pity_ sure to be in their eyes. They would try, god knew they would try, but how could they ever even hope to understand? After all, they were alright. They were together, happy, with all of their loved ones. They would never know the hollow feeling, the empty pain that clenched in her heart, and she would never wish it upon them. They could be happy; she _wanted _them to be happy, but- she couldn't bear to see it.

A hand touched her shoulder, gentle, and she flinched. Eyes still closed, she didn't see the hurt the movement caused, and she couldn't have brought herself to care even if she had. She could barely stand her own pain. Without looking, she shook her head again and backed up a step, away from the touch, before turning and running.

~*~*~*~

_"She- she'll never be the same again. Will she?"_

_"No, I'm afraid not." The voice was soft, mournful, and a quiet murmur of agreement joined it. Fingers interlaced with another's as the speaker watched the fleeing form. "This is a wound even she can't heal."_

_"Then we've really lost her."_

_"No." Surprised eyes turned at the firm denial. "We'll never lose her. We just have... to give her time."_

~*~*~*~

Get up early and get ready. Leave for school before anyone else wakes. Pay attention in class and steadily ignore the palpable concern of the others. Go straight home and work on homework. Go to bed and remember that everything is alright. Rinse. Repeat.

It was how she managed to get through life a day at a time. As long as her thoughts never ventured beyond her set routine, she could survive. Her grades were even soaring, better than they'd ever been. Her family and friends should have been excited by her progress in school. Instead, all they did was worry. They stared at her when they thought she wasn't looking, unspoken questions beating against her silent wall of solitude, and she couldn't stand it. Part of her wished that they would just leave her alone, that they could understand how much it hurt just to be alive, to be so empty, and yet, she would never have wished these feelings upon the people she loved. That was something, at least, that she could cling to. They had been spared this fate. Her family, her senshi, had been spared this pain.

But then... others hadn't. And it was with those others that she was finally able to take solace. They, too, knew this fate.

~*~*~*~

It was inevitable. They were the only ones who could understand each other. Those around them tried, tried so hard, but it only managed to push them farther away and closer together. At school, they took to eating lunch together in private to escape the suffocating concern of their friends. In that time, they found that they could finally have a peace somehow, in shared heartache, shared grief. The desire for that peace, the burning demand for that peace, brought them together outside of school as well. She found herself taking her homework to their home, instead of her own, or her friends'. They dropped from the limelight that had been their life before, even going as far as to change their own identities. They welcomed her into their company, the only one with such a privilege.

It was there, one day long after everything had happened, that she found herself finally unable to hold back any longer. When the tears slipped down her cheeks for the first time since that day, they held her in their arms, and they cried with her. They cried for her, and she for them, and the tears fell from each of them for all of them.


	2. Watching

**Title:** Breaking

**Author:** Koohii Cafe

**Rating:** K

**Fandom:** BSSM

**Disclaimer:** Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.

**Summary:** A collection of moments from a world where Stars does not end... quite as joyously.

**Author's notes:** I'm writing these pieces out as they come, and they may or may not be in chronological order. Please forgive if a piece is somewhat vague, it will all begin to make sense as I write more and more.

_Watching_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"It's getting colder, isn' it?" Deep blue eyes gazed distantly up to the sky, almost as if lost, before sliding closed as a hand intertwined with hers.

"Mmmmm. Should we keep each other warm, then?" That soft voice was teasing on the surface, but to one who knew her well, the undertone of concern was palpable. Sandy blonde locks shook back and forth as interlaced fingers were pressed tight.

"I'm not the one who needs warmth," she murmured in response, eyes opening once more to look up; not so far as to the sky this time, but to the balcony from which a dim light could be seen. Many times in the past they had sat together and stared up at a similar balcony, keeping watch over she who was most important to them, but that had been in a different place, at a home from which light, love, and warmth radiated. The place they now watched was different. There was no sign declaring a family name, no sense of belonging, merely a collection of places for one to take temporary reprieve in. At least, that was how it seemed to them.

"She has warmth," the gentle voice reminded, and Haruka turned an almost accusatory look to her lover, who shook her head and silenced the protests with a finger laid against her lips. "It is time to accept it. They are the only path she still has to find healing."

"She has us!" the wind guardian growled, letting Michiru's hand fall away from her own as her defiant glare returned to the empty balcony. "Why does she need _them_ when we are here, waiting for her!"

"Can you share her sorrow?"

It was not the first time that question had been laid before her, but as always, it served its purpose. Silence swallowed her voice as Haruka looked away from both the tower of apartments and her waiting love. What could she say to that? How could any of them really understand what had been lost that day, or how their most precious person must feel? The answer was simple.

The jingle of keys and roar of the engine filled the silence as the car started. She gave one last glance to that empty balcony, her fervent prayer for even a glimpse of that person going unanswered before blue eyes turned to the road and she started off. Michiru's hand gently settled on her thigh as the car drove away, a silent admission that she too was helpless in this situation.


End file.
